On listening (or not listening well)

Listening—or giving your full attention to someone else sharing through any form of communication—is an essential skill in life and design. It’s core to us being in relationship with others.

And we’re all great listeners, right?

Eh, not always. We’re human and sometimes we get in our own way as we seek to connect with others.

When collaborating on design projects, this can happen for a lot of reasons. And for reasons we don’t always want to admit, such as:

• You’re already thinking about how you want to respond or what you want to say next.
• You already have an idea of what you want to do.
• You’ve already decided you don’t agree with what someone else is sharing and are no longer open to other perspectives or ideas.
• You’re worried about how you look or sound in the conversation.
• You’re not feeling very curious at that moment.
• Distractions and stressors from all the other things going on in work and life.

That’s why we need to practice listening as the active skill it is. To build self-awareness so we know when we’re getting in the way of engaged listening. To reflect on why we jump to judgments and assumptions in real time. To stay curious and ask thoughtful questions. To take responsibility for ourselves and our own needs. To be present.

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